I’ve got my rock!

So what do you do in bed?

Sorry for the personal question, but I’m just laid here in bed reflecting on a whole load of things. Among them, how much of my life I manage from my bed these days!

This blog, for example. I can write in bed. I listen to my podcasts. I’ve been doing my Christmas shopping on an app. I’ve also just eaten a lovely chicken salad as a late lunch.

I don’t live in bed, by the way! I just know, beyond sleep-time, that there are benefits to lying flat, somewhere relatively quiet, and with minimal stimuli of any kind.

Finding time to stop and reflect, to count your blessings, is always time well-spent.

It’s so easy to mope on the bad stuff, to dwell on what might have been, and to concentrate on the stuff you didn’t or couldn’t do.

Reflecting on what you did or can do may surprise you. In the past few days I managed a coffee with a friend, a short but wonderful evening dinner out with my fiancé and even a couple of hours at work over the weekend – having learned that I can do a few bits and pieces when the exhaustion of being around others is minimised.

I’m also reflecting on life with my fiancé. We get married next spring. We’ve been a couple for nearly four years, and engaged for just over one year. He really is my rock.

He’s got a knack of knowing me better than I know myself. When I’m feeling well and suddenly decide I’m ‘fixed’ and can climb a metaphorical mountain, just the look in his eyes is enough to remind me to pace myself. But he never holds me back. If I willingly choose to overdo it with the knowledge of the payback that follows, then so be it.

We all need a rock. That could be a partner, a family member, a friend, or even like-minded people in social media groups.

Since starting Zonked Club the messages I’ve received from people who appreciate the posts have regularly brought me to tears. In a tiny way, this place is a rock for some people. But, where possible, the rock of a real person who can talk to you – whether they’re near or far – must be preferable.

I’ve also been reflecting on the progress I’m making on my own health journey. If I rewind just three months I felt regularly absolutely rotten, was cancelling catch ups with friends because I just couldn’t summon the energy, and I felt emotionally empty because my focus was on all that was wrong or missing in my life.

I’ve never been someone to sign up for hoodoo new-age quackery, but there are some basic principles which I’ve applied to my life which, I suspect, we could all benefit from…

  • Be more ‘in the moment’. Worrying about what’s gone or what’s not yet happened is utterly pointless.
  • Be more honest. If somebody asks you how you are, and you feel awful, just say so.
  • Be more grateful. Mentally or even physically noting all you’ve done, whether it’s managing to brush your teeth or go for a stroll or avoid chocolate is all success. Though, there’s always room for some chocolate in your life!
  • Be more alone. Don’t confuse alone with lonely. They’re very different things. Finding time to be alone, without TV or radio or music or a book, is surprisingly good for you. Just as you rest your body, rest your brain. Sit down or lie down. Notice all the stuff around you that you’ve never noticed before. I can easily lose an hour doing it. It’s lovely.
  • Be impulsive. If there’s something you reeeeeeeally want to do, do it. We can all make plans for next week, next month, next year or for retirement. But we’ll probably never do any of them. Tomorrow never comes. If it’s been on your mind, just do it.

That’s more than enough from me in bed. Time to close my eyes. I may sleep. I may not. I may doze. I may just ponder what I’d like for Christmas.

And if I do, I’ll then drop lots of not-so-subtle hints to my rock!

4 Comments

  1. I love that tip ” be more alone” – it’s so true that you notice things you’d never notice otherwise. The patterns the pain on the wall makes as it was applied over uneven cement. When the light hits it just a certain way, the whole wall looks different. The shadows that move across the wall, patterns of branches swaying in the wind, the florals from the lace curtain or the reflection of the sunset in the window across the street!

    There is a big advantage to putting down all the things and just being present, in silence, observing, resting, breathing…

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  2. Hi Gary and ‘rock!🤗✨this is a great
    article and oh so very true! We all need a rock even if we’re perfectly well and are just feeling a little ‘life’ beaten, so when it comes to being ‘struck down’ with something like ME it’s like being hit by a tsunami !!! So I can’t and to be perfectly honest I ‘don’t want to’ think about where I’d be without my rock -he is quite simply AMAZING!😁✨ and I’m so very lucky to be loved and cared in such a wonderful way!( if I praise him up anymore his head will explode!🤣✨)

    CONGRATULATIONS on your impending WEDDING!!! 🎊 ……I hope that you have an incredible day!…Gary your going to have to take ‘lots’ of short breaks and if necessary wear 1 earplug to ward off at least half of the celebration noise , also have your sunglasses and fan (…not me silly!…your little electric fan!🤣✨) on hand to lessen some of your nasty symptoms…also sit down as much as possible etc etc etc, you know what to do!😉✨……and after the wedding ‘please’ rest rest and rest some more! You worry me Gary because your still doing SO much all of the time and when I first got ill I could do maybe 50 times more than I can do now!…I am now 99% settee bound, feel too ill to go out ( I haven’t been out of our house for 4 years now!) and can rarely tolerate any visitors ! ☹️ ✨ The way that you describe it when your have sensory overload is the way I am all of the time now…so ‘beware’ please please please !!!
    Sorry for being an old nag but it’s born from caring/worrying and ‘having been there myself!’
    So let’s give THANX to our ‘wonderful’ rocks!…soon to be husband for you! 😁✨ ENJOY YOUR WEDDING ✨🎊✨…and the rest of your lives together! ( please give your rock a big hug from me!)
    Best wishes and hugs
    Georgie 🤗✨

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  3. Well YOU BOTH DESERVE IT !!! 😁✨

    YOU for ALL you are doing for US…..😘✨………………….
    …………….AND……for your ROCK 😘✨ because we ALL know that you wouldn’t be able to help US unless your ROCK was doing an incredible job at caring, helping and supporting YOU with everything!……can’t wait to see some of your wedding ✨🎊✨ snaps on here at some point in the future!
    GOOD LUCK for your big day!
    Georgie xxx🤗✨

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