So what do you do in bed?
Sorry for the personal question, but I’m just laid here in bed reflecting on a whole load of things. Among them, how much of my life I manage from my bed these days!
This blog, for example. I can write in bed. I listen to my podcasts. I’ve been doing my Christmas shopping on an app. I’ve also just eaten a lovely chicken salad as a late lunch.
I don’t live in bed, by the way! I just know, beyond sleep-time, that there are benefits to lying flat, somewhere relatively quiet, and with minimal stimuli of any kind.
Finding time to stop and reflect, to count your blessings, is always time well-spent.
It’s so easy to mope on the bad stuff, to dwell on what might have been, and to concentrate on the stuff you didn’t or couldn’t do.
Reflecting on what you did or can do may surprise you. In the past few days I managed a coffee with a friend, a short but wonderful evening dinner out with my fiancé and even a couple of hours at work over the weekend – having learned that I can do a few bits and pieces when the exhaustion of being around others is minimised.
I’m also reflecting on life with my fiancé. We get married next spring. We’ve been a couple for nearly four years, and engaged for just over one year. He really is my rock.
He’s got a knack of knowing me better than I know myself. When I’m feeling well and suddenly decide I’m ‘fixed’ and can climb a metaphorical mountain, just the look in his eyes is enough to remind me to pace myself. But he never holds me back. If I willingly choose to overdo it with the knowledge of the payback that follows, then so be it.
We all need a rock. That could be a partner, a family member, a friend, or even like-minded people in social media groups.
Since starting Zonked Club the messages I’ve received from people who appreciate the posts have regularly brought me to tears. In a tiny way, this place is a rock for some people. But, where possible, the rock of a real person who can talk to you – whether they’re near or far – must be preferable.
I’ve also been reflecting on the progress I’m making on my own health journey. If I rewind just three months I felt regularly absolutely rotten, was cancelling catch ups with friends because I just couldn’t summon the energy, and I felt emotionally empty because my focus was on all that was wrong or missing in my life.
I’ve never been someone to sign up for hoodoo new-age quackery, but there are some basic principles which I’ve applied to my life which, I suspect, we could all benefit from…
- Be more ‘in the moment’. Worrying about what’s gone or what’s not yet happened is utterly pointless.
- Be more honest. If somebody asks you how you are, and you feel awful, just say so.
- Be more grateful. Mentally or even physically noting all you’ve done, whether it’s managing to brush your teeth or go for a stroll or avoid chocolate is all success. Though, there’s always room for some chocolate in your life!
- Be more alone. Don’t confuse alone with lonely. They’re very different things. Finding time to be alone, without TV or radio or music or a book, is surprisingly good for you. Just as you rest your body, rest your brain. Sit down or lie down. Notice all the stuff around you that you’ve never noticed before. I can easily lose an hour doing it. It’s lovely.
- Be impulsive. If there’s something you reeeeeeeally want to do, do it. We can all make plans for next week, next month, next year or for retirement. But we’ll probably never do any of them. Tomorrow never comes. If it’s been on your mind, just do it.
That’s more than enough from me in bed. Time to close my eyes. I may sleep. I may not. I may doze. I may just ponder what I’d like for Christmas.
And if I do, I’ll then drop lots of not-so-subtle hints to my rock!