This weekend I get married.
It will be, I hope, the happiest day of my life. It could also, without a plan in place, be one of the most tiring.
Living with ME, as I’ve written on multiple occasions on this website, involves a lot of adjustments, both physically and mentally.
The biggest test of what I’ve learned is just days away!
There have been some ‘dry runs’ of the theory in recent months, most notably my stag do in London at the start of the month. What I did, and what I learned, during the course of that absolutely brilliant day, is a template I’m planning to put into place this weekend.
I’m sharing it with you as it may be of interest to you if you have something ‘big’ coming up. You may also have your own experiences (share them below) and that may be helpful to other readers of this blog.
In no particular order, here’s the plan:
- Everything is delegated. The venue manager is in charge and knows what she’s doing. She’s also empowered, if a decision needs making on the day, to apply common sense and fix it. It means it’s not my or my fiance’s problem. By the same token, all the suppliers – from florist to cake maker to decorator and transport provider – all have points of contact that aren’t us. Again, they’re empowered to fix problems and ‘just make it right’.
- The days before our wedding day have next to nothing in them. My main job is to rest and relax. My Best Man was brilliant before my stag do. Almost ordering me to stay in bed the day beforehand! I did likewise the day after. It was the right thing to do.
- During the course of our wedding day, I’ve built in multiple small breaks, and arranged for a dark, quiet room at the wedding venue for me to disappear to. It means when any sensory overload starts draining my battery, or if pain gets too much, I have a sanctuary to escape to – even if only for 10 or 15 minutes. That said, based on the experience of staying relaxed, joyous and ‘in the moment’ during my stag do, I hope the same will happen this weekend.
- All those coming know I may need to disappear. Me knowing that means there’s no anxiety or worry on my part if I do need to make a move. I know from experience that the pressure to put on my ‘game face’ can drain my battery, so not having to maintain a facade should in turn pay dividends.
- We’re applying the ‘do half as much in twice the time’ to everything, so there are time buffers throughout the day. It means photography doesn’t have to be rushed. In fact, there’s no pressure on any element of the day (other than arriving on time for the actual ceremony!).
Once I’m back from our honeymoon I’ll blog a retrospective on our big day. I’m also hoping to produce some blogs on managing ME and travel. So, perhaps, our honeymoon may be the first in that series.
This fiance is about to become a husband. I still can’t believe I’m writing that. It feels so grown up!