ME and my wedding

This weekend I get married.

It will be, I hope, the happiest day of my life. It could also, without a plan in place, be one of the most tiring.

Living with ME, as I’ve written on multiple occasions on this website, involves a lot of adjustments, both physically and mentally.

The biggest test of what I’ve learned is just days away!

There have been some ‘dry runs’ of the theory in recent months, most notably my stag do in London at the start of the month. What I did, and what I learned, during the course of that absolutely brilliant day, is a template I’m planning to put into place this weekend.

With my Best Man, Alistair, at my stag do in London

I’m sharing it with you as it may be of interest to you if you have something ‘big’ coming up. You may also have your own experiences (share them below) and that may be helpful to other readers of this blog.

In no particular order, here’s the plan:

  1. Everything is delegated. The venue manager is in charge and knows what she’s doing. She’s also empowered, if a decision needs making on the day, to apply common sense and fix it. It means it’s not my or my fiance’s problem. By the same token, all the suppliers – from florist to cake maker to decorator and transport provider – all have points of contact that aren’t us. Again, they’re empowered to fix problems and ‘just make it right’.
  2. The days before our wedding day have next to nothing in them. My main job is to rest and relax. My Best Man was brilliant before my stag do. Almost ordering me to stay in bed the day beforehand! I did likewise the day after. It was the right thing to do.
  3. During the course of our wedding day, I’ve built in multiple small breaks, and arranged for a dark, quiet room at the wedding venue for me to disappear to. It means when any sensory overload starts draining my battery, or if pain gets too much, I have a sanctuary to escape to – even if only for 10 or 15 minutes. That said, based on the experience of staying relaxed, joyous and ‘in the moment’ during my stag do, I hope the same will happen this weekend.
  4. All those coming know I may need to disappear. Me knowing that means there’s no anxiety or worry on my part if I do need to make a move. I know from experience that the pressure to put on my ‘game face’ can drain my battery, so not having to maintain a facade should in turn pay dividends.
  5. We’re applying the ‘do half as much in twice the time’ to everything, so there are time buffers throughout the day. It means photography doesn’t have to be rushed. In fact, there’s no pressure on any element of the day (other than arriving on time for the actual ceremony!).

I expect there’ll be lots I will learn from the day as I have from other ‘events’ in recent months, including Christmas, and my birthday last November.

Once I’m back from our honeymoon I’ll blog a retrospective on our big day. I’m also hoping to produce some blogs on managing ME and travel. So, perhaps, our honeymoon may be the first in that series.

This fiance is about to become a husband. I still can’t believe I’m writing that. It feels so grown up!


  1. Wishing you a wonderful and special day (and a long and happy married life together!). The day will go so quickly- take time to step back and savour each moment. Hope you have a lovely and restful honeymoon afterwards- will look forward to reading your blog! xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Dear Gary, wishing you both all the Health, Wealth & Happiness, may you have a wonderful day.

    Want to say a big thank you for all that u do, it is really appreciated, I have forwarded some if your blogs to close family & friends, which have been really helpful & because of you am feeling less guilty about resting (although dont have much choice, lol) letting people down & coming to terms with not working.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi Gary, i really enjoy reading your posts and particularly enjoyed listening to your bbc 5 live interview.

    I feel I can relate 100% to what you are going through and how you cope. It’s funny how we all develope similar tool kits for coping. Thanks so much for sharing.

    It sounds like you have a great coping plan in place for the big day. Wishing you both a wonderful wedding day and many happy years ahead!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You are so wonderful for sharing with us all at this so special time on your life. I am sure that most of us can identity with your coping concerns and strategies. Wishing you both all the very best now and always.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Wishing you both an amazing wedding day, and you have everything in plan which is great.
    Will be interested to hear how you combine travel and ME as I can have if I plan very carefully a couple of days away where we live but anywhere further I can’t.
    Love to you both xx ❤❤

    Liked by 1 person

  6. CONGRATULATIONS !!! 🎊 💕🍾🥂🎉💕🥂🍾🎊💕🥂🍾🎉
    I’m guessing that you and your rock are actually married by now so WAHOOOO !!! ✨😁✨🌈✨🕊✨👨‍❤️‍👨✨💕✨
    Thank you for sharing everything with us and I’m very interested to know how you get on on your honeymoon!

    All the best for an ‘amazing’ life of love ✨💖✨ together!
    Loads of love n hugs to you both! Georgie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx✨💖✨xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Wishing you all the very best Gary.
    Hope you had a wonderful day and are enjoying your honeymoon.
    Can’t wait to get an update.
    I also sincerely wish that your future is bright and your health improves.


    Liked by 1 person

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